Home Life

Am I An Inadequate Mother??

breastfeeding story-journeyThroughout my first pregnancy, I was that crazy mom-to-be surfing the web reading about baby tips, suggestions and things to buy for hours on end. I signed us up for classes that had anything and everything to do with babies. Moreover, I was determined to be the very best mom I could be for Mia and that included breastfeeding her. It could very well be due to the fact that I was being told breast milk was like “liquid gold” for my child at every.single.preggo follow up. That it provided immunity, antibodies, simpler digestion, a decrease in ear infections and interestingly enough, even lowered the risks of diseases such as leukemia. But becoming a first-time mom was certainly not a walk in the park. It made me question who I am and what I physically can do. Case in point, my breastfeeding journey.

I was beyond devastated when a team of lactation consultants and doctors advised me to stop breastfeeding altogether merely one month after I had Mia. To think my body was not ‘mommy material’ made me feel like the worse mom ever. I mean I was being told that breast milk was like liquid gold, right?! And side note, why is it referred to that way? Why can’t we call it like diamonds?! Aren’t diamonds forever and a girl’s best friend? I digressed. So since I had to stop breastfeeding altogether and had to give my little love formula, I then started to feel like an inadequate mom. I yearned to give my child the good stuff. To give her nothing but the best. But physically, I couldn’t do it. And for that, I became really hard on myself. Post-partum depression at its best. More so when I saw my little nugget become constipated from all the iron found in formula and always irritable from it. Quick gimme some of the liquid gold stuff to ease her pain!

Fast forward three years to finding out we were having baby numero dos. My initial thought was “great, I’ll for sure be depriving another child from the good stuff.”  And those crazy thoughts of being an inadequate mom started to surface again. But I tried to reassure myself that it really was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things more so since our first is a very active healthy kid. Liquid gold or no liquid gold.

So when the time came and they plopped our second onto my chest, she immediately moved her tiny little nose into position and latched on. All I could do was cry in sheer happiness and take it all in. I told myself that even if it was for just one month I’d be ok with that. That if my body would just refuse to let it happen again that I wouldn’t be so hard on myself, this time around. I kept thinking “just take it one day at a time”. And that one day at a time is now almost 6 months! Talk about making a comeback, right?

breastfeeding-journey-story

And even though I’m beyond grateful my body worked its magic this second time around, my breastfeeding journey has not been easy (as I’m sure it has not been for most). But I’m embracing it all. The good (being able to physically produce liquid gold), the beautiful (bonding time) and the ugly (mastitis, thrush, plugged ducts, low supply, etc.).

Having been on both ends of the spectrum, I realize now that nursing a baby is not an indicator of what it takes to be a good mom. A good mom is one that rises above all the mommy adversities and situations thrown her way and pushes forward.

So whether you’re exclusively breastfeeding, supplementing or giving your baby a bottle/formula, none should be factors used to determine if you’re an adequate or inadequate mother. Please, let’s just stop the shaming. A child simply needs a happy, emotionally healthy mom to feed them and give them lots of love. In the end, that’s all that really matters.

Abrazos (hugs) — Gladys

    5 COMMENTS

  • Dani Colding June 2, 2016 Reply

    I love this post, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your openness. I am beginning to exclusively pump and then bottle feed my breast milk to Tanner and it has me feeling like I am a bad mom and giving up. But in the end, I have to do what healthy so I can be healthy and happy to take care of my baby!

    Thanks! Dani

    • themotheroverload June 3, 2016 Reply

      Thanks for reading Dani! Absolutely agree. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Our kiddos will surely grow up to be healthy happy kids regardless if we nurse them or not. 😉 XO – Gladys

  • Melissa June 2, 2016 Reply

    I can so relate to this. I had such a hard time the first time around with low supply and my little one wasn’t gaining weight the first few weeks. I felt completely inadequate! I had other friends who were pumping what felt like gallons and storing it in their freezers…and I could barely get 2-3oz! Oh, those days are so difficult, but you are so right — in the end, all the baby needs is to be fed and loved. Love this piece, Gladys!

    • themotheroverload June 3, 2016 Reply

      Ugh yes mama! 2 oz a pump session sounds about right. So tough when others around you are getting tons of that liquid gold. Just remember, you tried your very best and that’s all that matters. You are a fantastic mother. The girls are lucky to have you! XO –Gladys

  • Ellen That Chic Mom June 3, 2016 Reply

    I am so glad you are able to see that how you feed your baby does not define you as a mom. I had to stop breastfeeding my 3rd due to a medical condition in me at 6 months and I had guilt over that for years. She was the one I failed. With time I have found my peace and I am so glad you did too. Hugs mama, you are doing a great job!!!!

what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Not my kitchen...yet. 🤣 This gorgeous kitchen is inside @jessicaalba ‘s @honest headquarters. I definitely got some kitchen inspo for ours. 🤩
.
.
After 7yrs of owning our home, saving up and doing some research this past year, we’re finally starting our kitchen renovation this week!! To say I’m excited and stressed is an understatement. Excited to see the end result but stressed about the mess and being kitchen-less with kids. 🙈😆 For those who have done it, any tips? For those who haven’t, what would you change in your kitchen if you could? 📸 @lin_marty .
.
.
.
#kitchendesign #kitchen #homedecor #kitchenremodel #interiordesigner #kitchenrenovation #kitcheninspiration #kitchendecor #kitchengoals #luxuryhome #homedesign #dreamkitchen #quartz #renovation #whitekitchen #luxurykitchen #kitchenideas #kitchenreno #kitchenlife #kitchensofinstagram #fixerupper #designlovers #kitchentrends #kitchencabinets #hgtv #honestcompany
  • Piña colada 🍹 twinning for the win! Only mine has mama juice in it. 😆
.
.
Living life and capturing these sweet summer memories with all the data 🤳 I need anywhere #Verizon #BetterMatters #brandpartner @verizon
  • This little nugget is almost 7 and already started 2nd grade this week. Someone pass me a box of tissues. When did she get so big? 😢
.
.
This year, she put together her own outfits with @ChildrensPlace. I'm loving that she added a touch of her favorite things - animals and sequins. 😊 Swipe to see! Even her awesome rose gold boots have flip sequins on them. Anyone else have kids that are obsessed with flip sequins?
.
.

The Children's Place is encouraging kids to always be themselves and embrace their own personal styles this school year. #AlwaysBU 👏They offer a one-stop shopping experience with a wide assortment of quality clothing, shoes, and accessories...all available at unmatched value. Check out the link in our bio to shop back-to-school looks! https://bit.ly/2LqArss #AD
  • Mia picked out this big girl outfit for 2nd grade. And after snapping these pics I came to the realization that my baby girl is not so little anymore. It's like she grew over summer. 
She's obsessed with this @ChildrensPlace outfit. Picked everything out from head (cat ears) to toe (flip sequins rose gold boots). 😍🙌🏼 The Children's Place is going back to school with a positive, new attitude - to #AlwaysBU ✌️ They're encouraging kids to always be themselves, to embrace their individuality, and stay true to themselves as they walk through the halls this year. 
Check out the link in our bio to shop back-to-school looks! https://bit.ly/2LqArss #AD #childrensplace
  • Add a little Disney magic ✨ into your kids bedtime 😴 routine with the NEW Disney store’s Sleep Shop Hotline* and Expert Tips. .
.
The toll-free number, 1-877-7-MICKEY, has five special messages from Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck and Goofy to give kids something to look forward to at bedtime. The phone number will run from today through August 31 and is available throughout the United States and Canada.
.
.
And in an effort to help improve the bedtime battle, Disney store and shopDisney have teamed up with Lauren Olson, a certified pediatric sleep coach and founder of “Sleep and the City” to give her top tips to help parents trouble shoot common sleep challenges. To check out the full array of sleep shop offerings and see Lauren’s full tips at www.shopDisney.com/sleep-shop. 😉🙌🏼 #ad @ShopDisney #shopdisney
  • “Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless. ” – Notes from Nora
.
.
Don’t get it twisted. We’re an imperfect family. We have our fair share of tantrums, and disagreements but we also love each other hard, lift each other up, celebrate our successes and push each other forward when we fail. For that, never taking US for granted. .
.
Having an early bday celebration for our 1st born at the Disneyland Hotel & Parks. This kid really knows what to ask for. 🤣😆 Check out our stories. #grateful #blessed #perfectlyimperfectfamily #birthdaygirl #disneylandhotel #disneyresort #disneyhotel 📸 @lilyro_ 💕
  • #Ad Many of you know that American Express is a credit card company, but did you know that it also has features and tools to help you stay on top of your finances? American Express MyCredit Guide is one of them. This new credit score tool is completely free regardless if you’re an American Express Card Member or not. .
.
And if you’re also concerned about using this tool for fear it might hurt your credit score, don’t worry, American Express has you covered there too! Using this tool will not hurt your credit score one bit.
.
.

For us this tool is key as we like checking our credit score often for 3 main reasons. One being to identify any identity theft. Find out what the other two are on our latest blog post. Link in bio. Terms Apply. @AmericanExpress #AmexAmbassador #AmexEveryDay
  • #ad Let’s face it, as moms we have a to-do list that is never ending. Some days we’re able to tackle more while other days we merely slide by on survival mode. And bedtime very well might be your favorite time of the day too, amiright? By the time the daily night routine is done, I’m exhausted and just want to crawl into my own bed. So having a skincare routine that fits into my mom life is key. Enter Olay Daily Facials.
.
.
Unlike regular wipes that leave my skin feeling greasy with residue and forced to wash
my face afterwards, Olay Daily Facials leave my skin feeling completely
fresh, clean and soft. Find out all the benefits of using them including how it gently
removes tough makeup (even mascara!) up on our latest blog post. Link in bio. @Olay
#OlaySkin #skincareroutine #freshface #momlifeyo