Home Life

Am I An Inadequate Mother??

breastfeeding story-journeyThroughout my first pregnancy, I was that crazy mom-to-be surfing the web reading about baby tips, suggestions and things to buy for hours on end. I signed us up for classes that had anything and everything to do with babies. Moreover, I was determined to be the very best mom I could be for Mia and that included breastfeeding her. It could very well be due to the fact that I was being told breast milk was like “liquid gold” for my child at every.single.preggo follow up. That it provided immunity, antibodies, simpler digestion, a decrease in ear infections and interestingly enough, even lowered the risks of diseases such as leukemia. But becoming a first-time mom was certainly not a walk in the park. It made me question who I am and what I physically can do. Case in point, my breastfeeding journey.

I was beyond devastated when a team of lactation consultants and doctors advised me to stop breastfeeding altogether merely one month after I had Mia. To think my body was not ‘mommy material’ made me feel like the worse mom ever. I mean I was being told that breast milk was like liquid gold, right?! And side note, why is it referred to that way? Why can’t we call it like diamonds?! Aren’t diamonds forever and a girl’s best friend? I digressed. So since I had to stop breastfeeding altogether and had to give my little love formula, I then started to feel like an inadequate mom. I yearned to give my child the good stuff. To give her nothing but the best. But physically, I couldn’t do it. And for that, I became really hard on myself. Post-partum depression at its best. More so when I saw my little nugget become constipated from all the iron found in formula and always irritable from it. Quick gimme some of the liquid gold stuff to ease her pain!

Fast forward three years to finding out we were having baby numero dos. My initial thought was “great, I’ll for sure be depriving another child from the good stuff.”  And those crazy thoughts of being an inadequate mom started to surface again. But I tried to reassure myself that it really was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things more so since our first is a very active healthy kid. Liquid gold or no liquid gold.

So when the time came and they plopped our second onto my chest, she immediately moved her tiny little nose into position and latched on. All I could do was cry in sheer happiness and take it all in. I told myself that even if it was for just one month I’d be ok with that. That if my body would just refuse to let it happen again that I wouldn’t be so hard on myself, this time around. I kept thinking “just take it one day at a time”. And that one day at a time is now almost 6 months! Talk about making a comeback, right?

breastfeeding-journey-story

And even though I’m beyond grateful my body worked its magic this second time around, my breastfeeding journey has not been easy (as I’m sure it has not been for most). But I’m embracing it all. The good (being able to physically produce liquid gold), the beautiful (bonding time) and the ugly (mastitis, thrush, plugged ducts, low supply, etc.).

Having been on both ends of the spectrum, I realize now that nursing a baby is not an indicator of what it takes to be a good mom. A good mom is one that rises above all the mommy adversities and situations thrown her way and pushes forward.

So whether you’re exclusively breastfeeding, supplementing or giving your baby a bottle/formula, none should be factors used to determine if you’re an adequate or inadequate mother. Please, let’s just stop the shaming. A child simply needs a happy, emotionally healthy mom to feed them and give them lots of love. In the end, that’s all that really matters.

Abrazos (hugs) — Gladys

    5 COMMENTS

  • Dani Colding June 2, 2016 Reply

    I love this post, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for your openness. I am beginning to exclusively pump and then bottle feed my breast milk to Tanner and it has me feeling like I am a bad mom and giving up. But in the end, I have to do what healthy so I can be healthy and happy to take care of my baby!

    Thanks! Dani

    • themotheroverload June 3, 2016 Reply

      Thanks for reading Dani! Absolutely agree. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Our kiddos will surely grow up to be healthy happy kids regardless if we nurse them or not. 😉 XO – Gladys

  • Melissa June 2, 2016 Reply

    I can so relate to this. I had such a hard time the first time around with low supply and my little one wasn’t gaining weight the first few weeks. I felt completely inadequate! I had other friends who were pumping what felt like gallons and storing it in their freezers…and I could barely get 2-3oz! Oh, those days are so difficult, but you are so right — in the end, all the baby needs is to be fed and loved. Love this piece, Gladys!

    • themotheroverload June 3, 2016 Reply

      Ugh yes mama! 2 oz a pump session sounds about right. So tough when others around you are getting tons of that liquid gold. Just remember, you tried your very best and that’s all that matters. You are a fantastic mother. The girls are lucky to have you! XO –Gladys

  • Ellen That Chic Mom June 3, 2016 Reply

    I am so glad you are able to see that how you feed your baby does not define you as a mom. I had to stop breastfeeding my 3rd due to a medical condition in me at 6 months and I had guilt over that for years. She was the one I failed. With time I have found my peace and I am so glad you did too. Hugs mama, you are doing a great job!!!!

what do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  • Hair Tip 💇🏻🙌🏼👇
.
.
Use essential oils to create your own hair serum. 😉
.
Nature’s Truth® oils which are 100% Pure Plant Based, Paraben Free and Gluten Free are my go-to. I mix a drop of their sweet almond and coconut oils together and place it midway to the ends of my hair. It gives my hair that extra shine and helps tame those pesky fly aways. .
.
At night, I add their lavender oil to their coconut oil base and use it as a skin serum. The lavender scent is so soothing and such a perfect way to unwind from my busy day with the little ones. Do you use essential oils? #ad @naturestruth #EmbraceEssentialOils #StimulateTheSenses #healthyhairnow
  • These delicious Skinny Watermelon Cucumber Mojitos will be on repeat over here well into winter. And thanks to @DrinkBai they're full of flavor with zero artificial sweeteners and fewer calories. We've left you the ingredient list below. ;)
.
.
Skinny Watermelon Cucumber Mojitos
- Bai Kula Watermelon
- Watermelon
- Cucumber
- Rum
- Mint leaves
- Lime
- Ice
- Mojito glasses
✨Tune in next week to see a video on how to make this delicious drink. #FlavorLifeDallas #BaiPartner #FlavorLife #mojito
  • Last Tuesday, Lexi and I attended a baby wearing wall crawl event hosted by my sweet mama friend  @xo.rachelpitzel and @lillebaby in Venice Beach. To say these baby carriers are the best is an understatement. .
.
I've had my fair share of baby carriers for both girls. From high end to ultra inexpensive but the @lillebaby carrier I now own is perhaps the most versatile one I've seem. And the best part is that I've had absolutely zero back and shoulder pain and Lexi loves being in it. Oh and let me not forget about their designs. They're super fun and chic. .
.
A big thank you to @xo.rachelpitzel and @lillebaby for having Lexi and I. We had a great time meeting all the awesome moms and sweet babes. Not to mention how effortless it was walking around town with my little one in tow. Be sure to check out all their well-made carriers and all their rad prints and color options. #ad #babywearingmama #babywear 📸 @khauschka
  • Our little nuggets absolutely love milk. But what kid doesn't right? And since every cup contains balanced nutrition and natural protein, I'm all for it. .
.
Interestingly enough, milk is one of the original farm-to-table foods. Typically arriving on grocery shelves in just two days (or 48 hours, on average) from many family-owned and operated dairy farms. And of the 47,000 dairy farms in the United States, 97 percent – small and large – are family owned. .
.
Learn more about milk by visiting either http://bit.ly/MilkF2G and/or YouTube.com/MilkLife. Be sure to follow @milklife for more content and delicious recipes. #ad #milklife"
  • Blog Post Alert!! 🚨🚨🚨 .
.
A couple years ago, our oldest, Mia, was turning 4 years old. We wanted to do something extra special but weren’t sure exactly what. .
.
So rather than throw her a big birthday party as per usual, we asked her if she wanted to go to Disneyland instead. She quickly replied, “yes but I want to go to the hotel too.” I’m not even kidding. She asked us that. I think it’s due to us taking her to the park since she was two years old and us always passing by the hotel while walking to and from our parking spot. .
.
To be honest, the convenience factor of it all actually sounded quite heavenly.😍
.
.

Well fast forward 2 yrs and we’re still doing the Disneyland Hotel stay and park visit for Mia’s birthday. It’s sorta become a tradition now. And today, we’re sharing our top 8 reasons why we recommend doing so for your kiddos birthdays as well. Link in bio. 😘#disneylandresort #travelingwithkids #dreambigprincess #disneymom #healthyhairnow
  • Stop your scroll! Traveling with kids just got easier. 😍✈️🚖
.
.
See that car seat on top of my kiddos suitcase? Yes, that's a car seat! I kid you not. @mifold is the most advanced, compact, and portable seat ever invented. 10x smaller than a regular booster seat and it’s just as safe. Perfect for carpooling, with grandparents, in taxis, in rental cars and so on.
.
.
Find all their cool colors at your local @buybuybaby store for only $39.99! #ad #Grabandgo #mifold #travelingwithkids
  • Behind the scenes. 😅😋📸
Now tell me, do you also bribe your little loves with food and yummy snacks? 🙈
.
.
Detrás de las escenas. 😅😋📸Ahora dime, ¿también subornas a tus amorcitos con comida y bocadillos?🙈
.
📸: lilyro_ ❤️
.
.
#ad #mamarazzi #anythingforthegram #elenaofavalor #healthyhairnow
  • 💫Savor life's joys! The real beauty of life is in each precious moment. 🙌🏼💕
.
💫¡Disfruta de las alegrías de la vida! La verdadera belleza de la vida está en cada momento precioso. 🙌🏼💕
.
.
Back to school, sports activities and working from home/ on the road with little ones has been kicking my 🍑.😆 But even with all the crazy busy schedules, I'm trying my absolute best to stop and really be present. To savor and store in my mind all the funny and sweet moments our kiddos create daily. .
.
And speaking of moments, any new funny things your kiddos are doing or saying lately? Lexi has become a bilingual taking & dancing machine. And can probably get a Masters in 'tiny' pinching.😆🙈Ouch! 📸: Lilyro_ 😍
👗: @windsorstore